Tragedy

[xp_catseye]

Today is a sad day. Due to the unreasonable standards imposed by Kyle Gibney, specifically the one that said "No, Catseye, you may not amass an army of feline followers," I must announce that Match and I have lost custody of our beloved sons, Toothless and Lightning McQueen.

Tonight we say goodbye before sending our children off to our new home. Please especially respect Match's feelings in this difficult time. He said it was fine and then cried in the bathroom for half an hour.

Comments

[xp_wildchild]

Something something Family Court something Judge Kyle presiding, I'm the meanest ever.

Technically I said if you can't stop yourself at two, you can't have any, and you said ... I forget what you said, but it strongly implied you thought a much larger number was a reasonable number of cats.

[xp_banshee]

Did Match actually cry for a half hour?

[xp_wildchild]

I legit have no idea. I told Sharon it was 2, or 0. I didn't actually break the bad news to Match.

[xp_catseye]

He did. Match is very sensitive.

Your boyfriend made my husband cry.

[xp_banshee]

Well, I suppose a half hour of sadness is better than accidentally enabling you to collect a colony of cats that inevitably lead to a hoarding situation.

[xp_catseye]

Lies. I never said that a property this size could easily accommodate hundreds of cats, especially after the flooding destroyed so many of their regular shelters, or that I was close to talking Illyana into teleporting them in directly from the overburdened shelters because their adoption paperwork is a waste of time. I said a normal thing.

[xp_wildchild]

You'd think with ears like this I would not have mis-heard "I can have a perfectly normal number of kittens that would not appear on an episode of Hoarder Houses" as "I want 400 cats"

[xp_catseye]

Agreed. Maybe you should get your hearing checked.

[xp_cypher]

okay there, Kittens Georg.

[xp_catseye]

Excuse me, Liam is Kitten. You shall refer to me as Sharon, Catseye, or, if in relation to Liam and his orangeness, Jean.

[xp_cypher]

I know you speak meme. You are not the kitten, you are the Georg.

[xp_catseye]

I reject your meme and substitute my own.

[xp_banshee]

Wait, wait. That's why the kittens are in our living room?

[xp_wildchild]

Hi honey we're step-auntieuncle

[xp_banshee]

They're precious.

[xp_catseye]

So your plan is revealed. You revoked my custody so you could steal my children.

[xp_wildchild]

I am the most subtle.

[xp_cypher]

bro if you are not already on your way here for the highest of fives

[xp_wildchild]

Can't. I'm spoiling my newly stolen nephews with ear scratches and a cat toy that's made of like 14 catnip mice with their tails stuck together.

[xp_cypher]

Well, I should probably meet my kids anyway. :D

[xp_catseye]

Go ahead, rub it in.

My revenge will be more satisfying if you've let your guard down first.

[xp_darcy]

Oh, yeah uh. Surprise! We have kittens.

[xp_shatterstar]

Will my nephews at least still be living at the mansion? You and Match need visitation rights.

[xp_catseye]

Yes, Darcy has been kind enough to assume primary custody of them. You can visit them, too, when you go to see Terry.

[xp_shatterstar]

I'll steal them back for you.

[xp_catseye]

I like your attitude.

It's okay, though. Darcy is a worthy guardian, and I will visit them often when I go for meals. Besides, it's much more effective to strike at the root of the problem.

If you'd really like to help, you can always fight Kyle.

[xp_shatterstar]

I've been wanting an excuse to fight Kyle.

[xp_catseye]

Interesting.

We should get together for lunch sometime. We can discuss . . . things.

[xp_wildchild]

Negative.

[xp_cypher]

He's like a midlevel JRPG protagonist or something.

Some day we can say we knew him before he attacked and dethroned God.

[xp_shatterstar]

:(

[xp_wildchild]

I'll consider a parkour Danger Room run with you vs baddies if you actually go watch LITERALLY ANY movie version of a Shakespearean play and record me a video review or if you're feeling it, write one up.

[xp_darcy]

They have unlimited visitation rights unless the kittens fall asleep in one of our bedrooms and we lock the door.

But they've got the same open door invitation to the living room you do, hon.

[xp_catseye]

Darcy has been a very agreeable step-mother. We've already worked out a thorough co-parenting plan.

[xp_darcy]

You and Match can have them on weekends, even. You've got that lovely cat tree and they deserve to shred it to bits. :)

[xp_rictor]