It was my own fault for browsing Reddit

[xp_catseye]

I would like to report the scientific inaccuracy of a 24-year-old children's novel.

That is not what it looks like.




Addendum: Nor is this.




Illustrators, I am available to provide reference for a modest fee.

Comments

[xp_wildchild]

With your hands?

[xp_liono]

no! with a gun. because as you pointed out, it's MEGAFAUNA. you don't hunt that for funsies with your hands?!

[xp_wildchild]

Liam, this is REALLY IMPORTANT. DOES SHARON KNOW THAT.

Especially since she knows - I run down full sized deer for funsises.

[xp_liono]

oh. uh. probably not. she eats garbage and is from NYC.

...I mean. deer are more reasonably sized for that if you're 12ft tall like you are. when do I get to be 12ft tall???

[xp_wildchild]

Hate to break it to you but you're probably only due a couple more inches.

[xp_liono]

so mean

[xp_catseye]

Don't worry, Kitten. You'll always be 5'6" in my heart.

[xp_liono]

I hate you so much

[xp_cypher]

...are we not doing phrasing?

[xp_wildchild]

You're also tiny

[xp_darcy]

Not where it matters. And not when I'm in 3" heels either.

[xp_wildchild]

your boyfriend ate screaming cookies today.

this isn't relevant I just wanted you to know

[xp_darcy]

what's a screaming cookie? google is giving me a cannabis strain and i feel like doug probably didn't just shove a whole leaf into his mouth like that.

he might have, but that feels more like something matt would do. both of them, if they were together at the time, especially if you and clint were egging them on.

[xp_daredevil]

I plead the 5th.

[xp_wildchild]

Weird snack from the vending machine.

[xp_catseye]

Kyle shared. They look like animal crackers, but scream when threatened with bodily harm. I'm going to keep at least one to see whether going stale has any effect on this quality.

They taste like meat. It's pretty great.

[xp_darcy]

Eating food that is screaming probably isn't kosher, even if it's inanimate. Hm. A pondering for the rabbinical types.

[xp_catseye]

Doug still has the ingredient list. Although earlier all he could tell us was "organic."

[xp_darcy]

i foresee some time in the kitchen experimenting, then. but i probably can't replicate the screams.

[xp_catseye]

Do I:

A) Truly not know the size and power of a moose despite being a devoted student of zoology
B) Know, and simply acting otherwise for the fun of it, or
C) Know, and think the two of you simply lack ambition?

[xp_liono]

D). all of the above

[xp_wildchild]

D) Have not seen one in person and so don't actually understand how scary moose are

unless you can turn into an orca too
orcat... or-cat? orca-cat?

[xp_catseye]

That's for me to know, and the rest of you to find out.

After all, not one of you has seen my final form yet.

[xp_wildchild]

I'm writing your final form on a post-it note and taping it to the underside of my desk.

(it's an orca-cat I know)